Hormones or something else?

Yesterday I decided to go clothes shopping, because I'm sick and tired of getting weird looks every time I go out in public.  Oh, and Vaati laughing at me isn't exactly helping either.  (But at least I can get back at him for his rediculous outfit! :D)  Before going out, as usually do when it comes to shopping, I asked the shorty if he wanted me to get him anything.  As usual, he blew me off with a "whatever," which I swear is one of the three words that his "vast" vocabulary contains.  Ignoring his comment, I asked if he wanted anything specific.  As usual, he ignored me and continued watching his dumb show, meaning he probably wasn't listening from the beginning, which gave me an excuse to buy him a pink dress or something.  (Hehe, the poor idiot has no idea. >:])

Did I mention I hate shopping?  The weekly food shopping trip is bad enough, but clothes shopping...ugh, I detest it.  Thankfully, now that I have some new clothes, I should be good for awhile.  :)  I went to the local department store and bought a few cheap T-shirts and some pants labeled "jeans."  Since I arrived here, I've seen everyone wearing them, regardless of the occasion, so they must be standard.  Oh, and I bought Vaati the pink dress.  It was so worth the odd look I received from the cashier. >:]

When I got home, I found the living room trashed, as usual.  I called for the shorty, who yelled angrily from upstairs to go away, like always.  Regardless, I went up the "forbidden" stairs to the loft and knocked on the door.  He opened the door, giving me the finger.  I ignored him and handed the dress over, telling him I bought the clothes he "wanted."

He stared at the frilly pink dress for a few seconds.

"I NEVER WANTED THIS, YOU IDIOT!  SINCE WHEN DID YOU DECIDE TO GO CLOTHES SHOPPING?!"  With that, he threw the dress down the stairs.

Ah, it was so worth the 40 bucks.  Later on he ended up burning the dress in the backyard, causing me to get in trouble with the neighbors.  It cost me another 50 bucks to pay for the damages.  Well, it wasn't mine, per say.  I stole it from Vaati's piggy bank. >:]  Last night he found out about the stolen money and blew the fridge into smithereens.  Think I'll let him suffer a few days without a fridge, seeing as I'll eat take out.  Oh, and from now on he's buying his own food, because I'm sick and tired of him complaining about what I get.  -.-  Ugh, what is he, like twelve?!

Ever since OJ got turned in Vaati's been all moody.  It's really annoying.  What is he, a parrot?  Does he need social interaction for at least 4 hours a day or something?  (Because there's no way I'm spending four hours with that guy.)  Him simply sitting on the couch doing nothing irks me to no end.  So, I told him to join boy scouts or something.  (Anything to get him out of the house.  I find when he's not there, bad things don't happen.)  Again, he just gave me that annoying look.  Ugh, sometimes I just wanna punch that guy...is it really possible to be such a jerk?  The least he can do is get a job, that way I won't have to see him during the day at least.  I mean, all he has to do is move his lazy ass...

Food Shopping: Not Exactly A Criminal's Strong Point

Today, Vaati spent 400 dollars on dark purple paint for his "room."  You see, when he moved in, he claimed the entire loft area of the appartment to himself, leaving me to the downstairs with a room next to the kitchen.  What really gets on my nerves is that I'm not allowed to go within a 20 foot radius of the stairs, while he and his "henchman" OJ or whatever his name is play checkers and yell in the kitchen, downstairs, RIGHT NEXT TO MY ROOM.  I've told him to keep quiet multiple times because I'm usually trying to read, but every time he just gives me this foul look.  So much for manners.  Well, anyway, back to the paint.  He and OJ carried the paint upstairs to his "lair" as labeled on the door, and immediately began smearing it on the walls.  Oh, and did I mention that they forgot to use primer and spread a tarp on the floor?  As a result, the room now looks like crap and the floors are ruined.  (The only reason I know is because he invited me in to see how "awesome" it looks.)  I doubt I'll ever be able to sell this appartment now... -.-

On Thursday, Vaati voluteered to go food shopping with OJ.  This was a total surprise to me, because he usually groans or gives that trademark look when I kindly ask him to go, because I go every week.    So, naturally, I let him.  WORST.  MISTAKE.  EVER.  First off, he and his little "friend" stole all the food from the store, and here's the worst part:  what he stole was all of the most horrible tasting food.  We're talking the inedible, liver, etc.  I mean, if you were to steal food, wouldn't you want to steal a wedding cake or something?  8 pounds of liver...sheesh.  He better eat it all, because I'm not touching it.  Either he has the weirdest sense of taste, or he's just trying to drive me nuts.  Personally, I think he's just trying to drive me nuts.

On the positive side, Vaati's stealing of the liver is, although pathetic, solid evidence.  Now all he needs to do is commit an actual crime and sending him behind bars will be a breeze!  Plus, I already called the authorities on OJ.  Apparently he escaped from prison or something.  What was it he did again?  I can't remember...  Well, the point is, they should come to fetch him in any minute...  That's what you get for ruining my floors! :P

My Roommate: The Angry Purple Grape

Recently, I had rented out an appartment to serve as a base for the current operation I am working on, since I am very far from home.  Up until a few days ago, I had been able to conduct my research in blissful solitude, that is, until he showed up.  Vaati the Wind Mage he calls himself.  Apparently he has a title but no last name.  To add, he is the strangest-looking person I've ever seen.  Short with purple skin, hair, and clothes...a walking angry grape if you will.  No, an walking pissed off grape.  You see, no matter what I do to cheer him up or whatever, he just gives me this trademark scowl.  It makes me wonder if he's capable of feeling or even showing any other kind of emotion...

Huh?  You're wondering why I would let him rent a space with me even though I had the right to deny him permission?  It's actually quite simple: I'm on a mission to apprehend dangerous criminals, and to me, even though he's pathetic and short, Vaati is under high criminal suspicion.  Why do I think he's an outlaw?  Well, he can't go for five minutes without rambling about world domination or laughing his maniacal, girly laugh.  It's so obvious it's sad.  :/

Although I have practically enough evidence to put him in jail for awhile- seeing how he's managed to smuggle weapons and "magic" wands into my appartment and placing them as booby traps in the worst and most obvious places, I can't help but want to watch him and his foolish attempts for just a little while longer, and I'm sure reading about his ridiculous plans won't be too boring either, right?  ;D  So, I figure I'll keep an eye on him for a year or so before finally turning him in, and I'll record his crazy actions on this here blog.  Ho ho!  Shouldn't be too dull, hm?  I look forward to your veiws and personal opinions as well as his next pathetic excuse for a plan!

I bid you all farewell for now!~